Comcast customer service: Screw You, Mr. Customer

So my cable is out last Thursday. Call Comcast, and the level 1 guy flails around "remotely resetting" my box and having me unplug and replug my boxes and finally announces that there will have to be a service call. Great, say I. When can we get this fixed?

Screw you, Mr. Customer #1: First I can get to you is next Tuesday 5-8pm.

So it's 5 whole days to dispatch a repair tech? You installed the thing in less than 48 hours...get one of those install techs to do the repair. Sorry sir, no options, we don't care, but I'll note your account and you'll get a credit; you're confirmed for a 5-8 p.m. window, just please be at home when the technician shows up (Important Note: at no time does he say "and be sitting by the phone the whole time". This is important later).

So I wait. And Tuesday at 5 p.m. I'm dutifully at home waiting for the repair guy. At 7:20 p.m. I call service and navigate the IVR to the "check on appointment" option.

Screw you, Mr. Customer #2: I have no appointment.

Get a support person on the line. Yup, the guy didn't show up.

CC: He couldn't reach you, so he blew off the repair.
Me: What do you mean reach me?
CC: He called. You didn't answer.
Me: Called? I have an appointment...it's been set since last week.
CC: Where you actually at the residence?
Me: Yes...I was on the front porch, waiting for the guy I *had an appointment with*.
CC: We'll, that doesn't really matter.

Appointments, it seems, don't mean anything. Shame on me, I suppose.

Well, says I, we have 30 more minutes in this 5-8 thing, so get someone else out here.

Screw you, Mr. Customer #3: There's "only one tech, and he's done for the day and can't be reached".

One tech? Really? Is that for all off Georgia or just all of Atlanta? You aren't serious, there must be someone. She doesn't know, doesn't care, and there's nothing she can do other than rebook me for a service call. On Thursday, she thinks, but she'll have to have someone call me back. Nope...no way to escalate beyond this.

Sez I, I desperately need this...I'm in IT and people expect me to be available (as in, I am loosing far more money than their 5 days of service credit).

Screw you, Mr. Customer #4: Oh, well we have a business plan we can get you on. So if I pay three times more money you could magically find me a tech to fix my cable tonight? Yup.

N.B. - I have Comcast Business cable at my office and a couple of customer locations. It hangs up every week or two requiring a cable modem reboot to get it sane again, which doesn't happen on my residential service. Those connections are going to get reexamined.

So, I sez, look...5 days down, a no-show tech, and AT&T can install before your tech will get here and they'll give me $125 to switch. If someone from Comcast is going to call me back, they'd better be from retentions.

Sez her: well I'll get them on the line. They're the only ones who can escalate things, anyway.

Screw You, Mr. Customer #5: There's an escalation path, but we won't tell you about it, and you don't get access to it unless you threaten to leave.

Mrs. Retentions gets on the line.

MR: Oh, yes...we'll credit you a little here, and a little there, $20 whole dollars or some such. That should fix you right up.
Me: But you're still not getting anyone out tonight.
MR: Nope.
Me: Unless I upgrade to a business account, I assume.
MR: Err....ahh....
Me: And not until Thursday.
MR: We'll, I'll enter you into escalation and try and get someone there tomorrow.
Me: The other lady said she couldn't do that.
MR: She can't. So you need to be there, just in case someone shows up.
Me: So I need to commit to being in my house next to the phone We & Th, because you *might* get someone out tomorrow.
MR: Yup.

So here we are. I get to go home early, losing billable time, on the odd chance someone from Comcast shows up, after 6 days without service. And I shouldn't take the AT&T change perk why? Anyone know who regulates Comcast in Georgia?