Grant Birchmeier's dashboard

Section 5.2
* nonsense phrase needs work: "one which that Hibernate, Velocity, and the Spring Framework;"
* "20-odd pages" - actually, it's only 9 pages...

Section 5.7
* Second sentence is a comma splice; replace that first comma with a semi-colon and you're good. (Also, I think it'd read better to change "other chapters" to "later chapters will".)

Section 6.5, first paragraph
* Last sentence: "you will run mvn clean install command" - delete "command"

The use of a hyphen in "multi-module" is inconsistent. It should be decided whether the hyphen is to be used or not, and standardized throughout the book.

Specifically:
* Most of Chapter 6 doesn't use a hyphen. The Chapter title does, oddly.
* Nearly all of Chapter 7 does use a hyphen.

Section 4.3 code block
* Text extends into the right-side margin.

Section 4.6, Paragraph beginning with "The main() function shown above"
* First sentence is a comma-splice. Suggestions: (a) Remove "it" and the comma, or (b) Replace "it" with "and".

Example 4.8
* The "uris.put..." line has some extra indent space

Section 4.8, first code block
* Second line begins with "/" which is probably a typo

Section 4.11, last sentence
* typo - "without having to retrieve and XML response"

Missing chapter number in top-level heading.

(All section numbers below refer to what the numbers *should* be, e.g. instead of just "2.", I use 3.2.)

[Margin errors] 3.2, 3.5.1
The terminal text extends off into the right margin on the PDF. Maybe you should cut back the left-side whitespace from the split-line mvn commands. (I only point this out because of the risk that it might look wrong when it goes to print in book format, depending on your page size and margins.)

3.3, First paragraph
I'm just nitpicking, but is that parenthesized callout to the previous section really necessary? It doesn't exactly clarify anything that needed clarification.

3.4, Example 3
Title is uncapitalized. Does it obey your convention?

3.4, Paragraph "This pom.xml..."
* First sentence is a comma-spliced. Just make it two sentences.
* Last sentence is comma-spliced. I suggest to use a semi-colon instead.
* Last sentence: The two commas before and after "all you need to know" are unnecessary and should be removed.

3.5.1, Second paragraph
Sentence that begins "Other," - it looks like this was written to be a list, but there's only two items. Replace the comma after "Hibernate" with the word "or".

3.5.1, Figure title
This figure title has all words capitalized. What is your convention? (Should probably be the same as that for Examples)

3.5.1, Third para
Your typesetting program has put a line break after the dash in "-Dgroupid". I bet there's away to prevent it from doing that.

3.5.1, Last para
(nitpick) Last sentence: That comma after "And" bugs me. I think it's unnecessary.

3.5.2 Figure 3 and the "install phase"
If "install" is a lifecycle phase, why isn't it in this figure? You mention it right below the figure. This is honestly impeding my understanding of the material. Does install come before or after package? (Later added: I now see that "install" is described in 3.5.4; perhaps a note here about this would be prudent.)

3.5.3 First paragraph
This paragraph, while grammatically fine, is a chore to read. It's fine at first, but seems to digress when it starts talking about goals. Why is it talking about goals here? Take out both sentences that start with "Goals" and the paragraph instantly improves, and I don't think any crucial info is lost (goals were defined in earlier sections).

3.5.3 Third para
Missing a space after the "2" footnote.

3.5.3 Figure 5
* Title: "Maven Space"... is Space a term that's supposed to be capitalized?
* In the diagram: You used singular "coordinate". Probably should be 'Every "artifact" has a unique set of coordinates.'

3.5.5 Fourth para
Typo: second-to-last sentence - change "dependencies" to "dependency's"

3.5.5 Fifth para
This paragraph's info should have come earlier! Why define "transitive dependency" here when you've been using it for the past 4 paragraphs? Maybe move this to be the third paragraph.

3.5.5 Last para
Combine the last two sentences, since the latter one's content is only relevant to the former one. I suggest linking the sentences like so: "application, where you'll need to"

The titles of figures and examples sometimes have all words capitalized and sometimes not.

One convention should be chosen, and all figure/example titles should be reviewed so they follow it. It looks haphazard otherwise.

Not too many problems anymore with Chapter 2...

2.5, First Paragraph
Footnote 3 appears twice. The one at the end of the paragraph is probably not supposed to be there anymore.

2.7, Paragraph under http://maven.apache.org
* First sentence is a bad comma splice.
* Remove "a" before "frustrating, confusing, and overwhelming."

2.7, Paragraph under Maven User Mailing List
Last line: missing colon between "here" and the URL

2.8, Second para
Last sentence typo: "Here's is". Also, seems like this sentence should end in a colon. Your call.

2.8, Last line
This last line seems unnecessary. It certainly doesn't fit with 2.8, and it's not important enough to get its own section heading. I'd say cut it. The reader will figure out the transition when he turns the page.

A disappointing amount of comma-spliced sentences in here.

Preface, 1, last paragraph:
Third sentence "You can skip..." is a comma splice

Preface, 2, first paragraph, last sentence:
* "[...] you should tell us, send us an email at" - comma splice. Turn that comma into a period.
* Email address "book@sonatype.com" has a footnote with "tobrien@sonatype.com" - why are the addresses different? (Along with Preface, 5, why do email addresses have footnotes at all? Looks weird in PDF.)

1.2 First Paragraph
Looks like there's some extra spacing between sentences after "@Entity."

1.2 Second Paragraph
* "Maven assumes that you want the compile byte code..." - "the" should be "to"
* "Maven's adoption of convention over..." - comma splice. That first comma should be a colon or maybe a hyphen.
* "Maven's strength comes from..." - comma splice.

* "Maven's adoption of convention over..." - comma splice. That first comma should be a colon or maybe a long dash.
* "Maven's strength comes from..." - comma splice.

1.4, first paragraph:
First sentence: comma splice - just end the first sentence at the comma.

1.4, second para:
"But" sentence is awkward (and a comma splice). I suggest replacing with: "Without having to upgrade your Maven installation or install new software, you gained the ability to to execute unit tests in TestNG. You also gained the ability to run annotated JUnit 4 unit tests. You gained all of these capabilities with no action needed on your part. Most importantly..."

1.4, last para:
Suggestion: put "or" in fourth sentence to kill the comma splice: "...in any area of the build, [or] if some..."

1.5, first para:
Awkward (and probably wrong) comma usage in second-to-last sentence. Suggested correction: 'Maven is more than just a "build tool", and more than just an improvement on tools like make and Ant. It is a platform...' (Also, should "make" be in monospace font? GNU's make web docs print it in monospace, and it would scan easier to the eye.)

1.6, first para:
* Second-to-last sentence is a comma splice. Change that first comma to a period or a semi-colon.
* Last sentence: I don't understand what this sentence trying to communicate. The previous sentence already said it's more than a tool. And why's Maven in quotes here when it was never in quotes before? It's probably good to just cut this sentence.

1.6, second para:
* "Maven is much larger than that..." - If you wanted to put the second instance of 'Maven' in quotes here, that would make sense (unlike in the first paragraph).
* Suggestion: In last sentence, change the comma after Gradle to ellipsis (aka dot dot dot).

1.6, last para:
Last sentence: You need to put the word "and" before "universal".

1.7, first para:
"Apache Ant and Apache Maven" appearing twice is a kinda redundant.

1.7, second para:
First sentence is a particularly awful comma splice.

Example 1.1:
Capitalize "file" in this example's title (capitalize all words or no words in these titles)

1.7, para that begins "Admittedly":
'"This is project"' - I bet you mean "This is [a] project"

1.7, second-to-last para:
* Oops: "c`ustom"
* First sentence suggestion: change parens to: "(or even /with/ these supporting technologies)" (those slashes mean italics, of course)

As subject! Present in both the HTML and PDF versions.

Here's some more, Tim:

Chapter 3

There's a general fuzziness around whether coordinates should be single or plural. I'm pretty sure that a single coordinate is one of groupId/artifactId/etc, and one package always has multiple coordinates. Looks like one writer has been using it in singular to refer to those of a single project. (It probably wouldn't hurt to run a word search on singular "coordinate" to double-check all usages.)

And on to the specific items...

3.2 bullet 1
I'm guessing that "artifactID. Simple" should be punctuated "artifactID <simple>" (where <> is constant-width font or something, or maybe just quotes)

3.5.2 first paragraph last sentence
Awkward phrasing.
Current: "For example, the package phase in a project that produces a JAR, means"
Better: "For example, in a project that produces a JAR, the package phase means"
The suggested rewording fits better with the second clause's wording.

Figure 3.3
Is the "install" phase missing from this figure? (I may just not understand it yet)

3.5.2 paragraph "To summarize" (second-to-last paragraph)
"mvn install" in plainfont

3.5.2 last paragraph
"that" should be "than"

3.5.3 second paragraph
"Coordinates" is capitalized here and nowhere else, so I think this is a typo.

3.5.3 third paragraph
* colon after "space" - I think it should just be a comma. The colon just doesn't fit, as nothing before the colon indicates what's coming after. For that matter, "from general to specific" doesn't fit in this sentence anyway; it seems like an orphaned thought. It should either be deleted or given its own sentence.

* "its coordinate is" -- should that be plural "its coordinates are"? In other parts of this chapter, it looks like a single coordinate is considered to be one of the groupId/artifactId/etc elements (though the definition always seems fuzzy).
(Also related: figure 3.5)
(If you look in the final sentence of 3.5.3 and in later places, you'll see that it always used plurally.)

* Last sentence is an ungrammatical 3-in-1 sentence

3.5.4 third paragraph
Second sentence is an ungrammatical 2-in-1 sentence. Also, the 2nd and 3rd sentence could probably be combined and tightened up a bit.

3.5.4 the grey box at the end of the third paragraph
The second "<version>" is inexplicably in a smaller font.

3.5.4 last paragraph
Third sentence terminates abruptly - period should probably be a comma.
</version></simple>

Looks like Chapter 2 onward has much fewer grammar problems and typos than the earlier sections. This is probably because most people skip over the Preface and Chapter 1 and they get less scrutiny.

ATTENTION! While creating this list, I noticed that your font-transformers are buggy for both HTML and PDF.

In the PDF, a lot of stuff is not getting properly italicized, where in the HTML the italics are working. (The other font decorations appear to be working correctly in PDF.)

In the HTML, see Preface: 3, and you'll notice that all of the constant width font examples erroneously look exactly the same (fixed-width/bold/italic). (Observed in both Opera and Firefox.)

You should probably double-check your print edition font-transformers while investigating the PDF and HTML issues.

And on to the errors:

-----

Chapter 2

2.5.2 First sentence
The period after "Installing Maven on Linux" should be a comma; second sentence should be second clause of this one.

2.5.3
Second sentence: Should "expose" be "export"?
Third sentence: Should you italicize or underline book titles? In the PDF, it is normal undecorated text. In the HTML, it is hyperlinked (and as such, underlined).

2.9
I humbly suggest putting a colon after "here" when presenting a URL, unless you've specifically chosen not to.
e.g. "the license available here: http://..."
(2 instances in this section)

Also in 2.9, notice that "[This license] allows you to:" is italic in the HTML, but non-italic in the PDF, in accordance with the font-transformation issue I described earlier.

Part I (intro)

(General) In the PDF, "Maven: A Developer's Notebook" is normal undecorated text. In the HTML, it's italicized. (Probably the font issue I described earlier.)

Third paragraph, last phrase:
"... Part II is motivated by real examples." -- Should be Part I.