it not a given that ping.fm is so easy it needs no explaining

We do need better documentation on how to use the service, but we are in beta and things are changing around faster than we can document.. we're waiting for it to smooth out some.

I am not sure if you are referring to privacy settings on sites, but we don't currently have that, maybe soon though. we do have "groupings" of places to send your message, you can set it up at http://ping.fm/triggers/

If you need more general help, a few people have created their own how-to's... here's a good one: http://borderlinetheory.com/?p=75