Confused and depressed

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  • Updated 4 years ago
I am on day 5 of having 14 teeth, upper and lower, removed and getting both the upper and lower temporary denture. I am already suffering with depression but this has made everything so much worse. I hate the way I look in the mirror. I have only allowed two other people to see me, and they think I look great, I don't see that. I think I look hideous and fake. The pain isn't too bad, as long as I take my ibuprofen every 6 hours. It has everything to do with the emotional part of it. 

A little background in case anyone can help: I'm 35 years old, a survivor of years of domestic violence and after getting out of that situation that made me lose many of my teeth, attacked again by a serial rapist. I don't have a big support system. I have my boyfriend (of 9 years), and our kids.

The original plan was that my boyfriend would spend as much time as possible with me to help me through the transition, be the support I needed. Well, on night 2, he was taken by ambulance to a hospital almost 2 hours away for congestive heart failure. So he's still in the hospital, and I have no support anymore. His issues are more important than mine, so I don't really bother him with how I'm feeling. I do my normal thing of pretending I am okay, but I'm not.

I have moved everything I need to survive into my upstairs bedroom. I don't leave the upstairs. I don't like my son even seeing me or talking to me. I am constantly hungry, nothing seems to help that, but I can't eat anything with texture. I hate the way I sound when I talk.I have cut off almost all communication, even with online friends. I feel alone. I feel like I made the wrong decision to have this done.

Will it ever get any better? Will I ever think I look right? Has anyone else ever dealt with increased depression from this?
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SusanT

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Posted 4 years ago

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Angie

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Susan,

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I have never suffered the violence that you have, I can't even imagine. I'm also sorry to hear about your boyfriend, I hope he will be ok.

I too had all my upper teeth removed and a full denture put in. It's been 5 days, I can't eat anything with texture either and am constantly starving. I still have my bottom real teeth (they need to come out also) and the upper denture teeth don't line up with them so I couldn't chew anything even if I wasn't in pain.

I have suffered with depression most of my life too. I thought getting my ugly, broken, painful teeth out and replacing them with dentures would make things better but I fear the opposite is happening. I don't want anyone to see me either, they say I look great but like you, I don't see that. I'm getting more upset every day. The more I read, the worse it gets. I'm terrified of the jaw bone shrinkage I've been reading about making me look old before my time (I'm only 39). I haven't wanted to talk to anyone either, I'm supposed to go back to work on Tuesday and I'm freaking out about that.

I'm sorry I don't have words of encouragement. I only hope that we can both get over this fear (and pain, and starvation). I have heard people say that getting dentures was the best decision they ever made but for me I have this horrible feeling of regret. Maybe someone here can help us through this, but in the meantime, I'm here if you need to vent.

I am trying so hard to be positive and be happy that I don't ever have to have an infected broken painful tooth again, but man it's hard!
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SusanT

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Thank you for making me feel not so alone in all of this. So, here is where I'm at now: I'm on day 7. I left the house today to go to the grocery store to get more cream of broccoli soup. The cashier sees me, and starts like jumping up and down, calling people over and yelling about how great I look. Wanting me to open my mouth for everyone to see. Most. Embarrassing. Thing. Ever. I still don't think they look right, my face looks puffy, the teeth look fake to me, all of this. I still can't talk, it's like I put eight pieces of Hubba Bubba in mouth, chewed it up, and stuck it to the roof of my mouth.

So besides all of the normal depression stuff, boyfriend got out of the hospital yesterday, but I only got to see him for a little bit. 

I'd like to share with you some of the foods I've been able to eat, and maybe it will help you some:

Cheeseburgers from McDonald's, tore up into tiny pieces and place a piece on each side, takes about 20 minutes to eat one.

These $1 Michelina's frozen tv dinner things, I've been eating the Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes ones. They don't taste the greatest, but it's at least a little texture.

Tilapia fish fillets, lightly pan fried, just enough to get a sear, but no crunch.

The don'ts: Anything with tomatoes! Maybe it's because I still have stitches and I'm still at the beginning of healing. But I thought "Hey, I'll try some Spaghetti-O's." No. Worst idea ever. While easy to eat, they burned so badly. It'll be a while before I try anything tomato based again. I'm surprised the ketchup from my McDonald's cheeseburgers didn't bother me this way, but they haven't yet!

I don't know if any of this will help you, but it has helped me some. Though I still feel hungry all of the time.
(Edited)
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AliciaP

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Susan,

I understand the depression very well! I've spoke some of it on this forum, but if you would like to talk more one on one, feel free to email me.

Just to save myself from retyping the whole story of me, please look up '13 weeks and counting'.

I don't remember if I shared on there that just prior to having my teeth pulled we lost my mother-in-law after a sudden illness landing her in the hospital and going downhill very quickly. Shortly after that we lost a close family friend and then one of my husband's high school friends that he had been out of touch with for about 30 years (my husband is 12 years older than I am, making him currently 57)-they had found each other on facebook and rekindled their friendship about 4 years ago.

I'm currently awaiting approval from insurance to have a pain stimulator trial and then surgery.

There is a TON more things feeding my depression as of lately, but I don't really want to post them on here.

One other food that will help fill your tummy is mashed potatoes! Instant potatoes have come a long way! And they will stick to your ribs, so they say.

Good luck and I hope to hear from you soon! If I don't answer right away, I will! I sleep a lot.
(Edited)
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Angie

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Susan,

First off I'm happy to hear your boyfriend is doing better! About the scene in the grocery store, omg I can imagine that was quite embarrassing! I haven't gotten up the courage to go anywhere yet....

Thanks for the food ideas but unfortunately in my case my upper denture teeth are way out of line with my bottom teeth so I couldn't chew even if there wasn't pain. The top and bottom molars are nowhere near each other! I hope my dentist can correct this! I'm afraid I will have to have a new denture made, I'm clueless when it comes to this stuff.

I love the hubba bubba comment! That's exactly how it feels! I'm so happy you are finding things to eat!
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Kathryn Lowe

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Susan... It will get better, it will... Just let your mouth heal and try and stay on top of the mouth pain and salt water rinses, I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much all at once, when your mouth gets to feeling better with your new teeth, then you can work on everything else... Sending positive and healing life changes your way, peace girl