Depression setting in...

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  • Updated 3 years ago
I'm on day 12 of having 25 extractions, 2 bone graphs and getting immediate dentures. This past weekend I started feeling depressed about it all. It hit me at the first family Christmas gathering...with all the food. That I can't eat. It really sucked sitting there, eating jello and applesauce while everyone else was chowing down. I'm dreading this next weekend as well since we have more family to get together with. To top it off, I have now quit smoking ( I know this is a blessing. And I really did hope that doing this would help me with that. And it did!) So, I can't smoke (I did try, but tastes awful), can't eat...I have no "comforts" to comfort myself with. I still am having trouble talking, I don't think they fit right ( I do understand it's a process) but I can't even rub my lips together after putting chap stick on. And my bite feels way off even though the dentist tells me it's not. I just want to curl up in my chair and cry. My husband is getting irritated with me (I know it's because he's frustrated that he can't fix it for me) my 8 year old is "sad for me because I can't eat" ( my little sweetie) and my 16 year old is just trying to stay out of my way. Smart teen, Lol.

I'm missing three things, pizza, chocolate and cereal. I'm living off of oatmeal, spaghetti o's and pudding. I know this isn't healthy but I'm out of ideas. I try to chew, but I feel like I loose the food in my mouth plus it's really uncomfortable on my gums. Mentally, I'm sure it's a little too soon to be expecting much. But I just can't take not eating!

I start feeling bad at work too because I'm having trouble talking, and my job requires quite a bit of talking to our customers both in person & on the phone.

I'm trying to stay strong and not show how upset I am every second of the day for my boys, but it's getting really hard. I'm really regretting having this done. Wishing that I had waited until after the holidays. Any suggestions?
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Beth K

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  • sad, anxious, depressed

Posted 3 years ago

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Deb Dennis

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I'm really sad to hear your story and I really hope it gets better please keep us posted on here I'm having some problems myself right now with surgery from last Wednesday food isn't the biggest deal even though it is the holidays. I was craving Fried Chicken so I got my husband to buy some then I use my kitchen scissors and I pulled the meat out of the breast and cut it really really fine with the scissors and then I use the same scissor to chop up some of the crispy part the best crispy part of course into almost crumble very very small and I was able to roll that around in my mouth and and taste it 3 days after surgery I don't have any denture at end whatsoever the problem is I have holes going from my the roof of my mouth straight into my sinuses so I'm very afraid of getting food lodged into my sinus that won't be able to come out and it will cause extreme infection so that's where I'm at.
Hang in there with the food if you cook pasta longer than normal you can have something better than Sketti O's, I'm using it as an excuse to have lots of Milkshakes and I also got my husband to buy me some ensure shakes for the nutrition and a Core protein shake to add extra protein to it and if I put it in the freezer and shake it up it's like really good I could drink it just for the fun of it and because I like the shakes. Hopefully you'll be able to find something that you like that you can indulge in and help you maintain your health and your spirits while you're healing.
One of my favorite parts of the holiday feast has always been the gravy and whether it's gravy and potatoes or gravy and biscuits that can be made of soft enough to go down really well and my method of cutting meet up with scissors while a little more time consuming than a plant blender or Chopper maintains the flavor in the field and to be honest it's chewed up better by the scissors than it was by my teeth.
Really really try to think about the things that you can do Vice those that you cannot . It's the only way to get through it and maybe we can lift each other up and point some of those things out when it gets tough.
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Beth K

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Deb, thank you for your kind words and thoughts! Just knowing I wad able to vent to someone helped. I think yesterday was my lowest spot as after work I had to go get groceries. My husband sent me a text asking if we could cut pizza up small enough for me to eat it. I told him no, but if that was what they wanted, if pick it up. So, here I was driving with this delicious smelling pizza in the car, knowing I couldn't have any, with my tummy rumbling, feeling sorry for myself because i knew my dinner was going to be oatmeal when I got home. Get home, I'm cranky, three guys (husband & kids) who start digging into pizza & I sit down on my kitchen floor & just start crying.. It felt good to let it out, felt good to let those three, wonderful, supportive guys see me loose it. It felt good to have my boys hug me and try to comfort me.

Then...can't find the bag with the oatmeal that I just bought. Ugh! Seriously?!! So, after my break down...I had ice cream for dinner!
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Schelly

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Ice cream is health food - so glad you're coming around to the cold side.  LOL!

Find the humor, the silver lining AND the ice cream, and you've hit upon the dental trifecta.

Glad you're feeling better,
Schelly
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Sarah

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Aww, the pizza scenario happened to me too and my stomach quickly let me know that it was craving something substantial. I weeped at many dinners the first two weeks, but in the end I renewed my passion for mashed potatoes and beef gravy (good lord I love it) and ice cream finally became my treat alone. My daughters knew not to touch it, because I haven’t been able to eat ice cream without excruciating pain for years. That was my silver lining and the “a-ha” moment I needed to keep pushing through even when I fell to the darkest places. It does get better day by day and eventually you will discover the simple joys you had been missing with the bad teeth and that will make it worthwhile. Also, having this group is a lifesaver. Keep updating us on your journey and know that we are all fighting the same battles.
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Beth K

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So, stopped at the store and immediately decided it was not the time to look for new ingredients. I'll admit that I was so excited to try something new that i didn't think about it being days to Christmas. But wondering if you could give me an idea of where in a store i might find chia seeds and stevia? I know I've heard of them, just not exactly what or where lol.
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Micki

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You can get Stevia at Walmart . And probably Chia seeds too. I buy both of those at HEB because they're cheaper
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Micki

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Stevie is a natural sweetener made from monk fruit. And Chia seeds are just really good for you in many ways. Don't stress over that tho. If smoothies appeal to you then just add what you like to them. That's what I did.. You are such a sweet person and I know you'll do well. All the ingredients I mentioned are available at Walmart and HEB
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Beth K

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Aww, thank you Micki!  I'm really trying to turn this experience into something better all the way around.  
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Micki

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And Beth...I just realized you said "where in the store" duh. Lol. The Stevia is with the sugar/splenda...and the Chia seeds are on the same isle directory across from the Stevia in my Walmart anyway. . AT HEB they're with the health foods!. Coconut oil is with the oils..i.e. vegetable, canola., olive...Merry Christmas!
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janet

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Hey Brod - hard boiled eggs with butter?  I'm stuck on that after reading it.  I have never heard of eating butter with hard boiled eggs.  I know butter improves everything though.  :)  Are you in the US or is that they way they are eaten commonly in another country?  
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Brod

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hey janet - haha, the eggs are hard boiled, then peeled into a bowl and mushed up with a fork, then whilst they still hot/ warm, add in a slice ( or however much you like ) real butter ( not margarine/spreads etc ) and fork/mix in the butter- the eggs will absorb it, add salt to taste if you like, and its so easy to eat. im not not sure how commonly eaten they are here in uk, but my mum made them for me often as a kid ( hope thats not what gave me bad teeth! lol )  but for eating without my upper denture, they are so sofft on the gum and tasty too, easy to make - and you can have this as a meal / snack dependng how many eggs you use. for breakfast i use 6 eggs but for a snack 2-3 egss is sufficient for me. 
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janet

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There is no way they could contribute to tooth decay since eggs and butter have zero carbohydrates.  Those little mouth buggies can't metabolize fat and protein.  I may just have to try that because it is so intriguing.  I have been eating a lot of eggs by hard boiling them and then making pureed egg salad in my food processor.  I throw in a bunch of green olives for a little tang and eat it on ritz crackers, which melt down beautifully in your mouth.  On a side note.  I am obsessed with watching every UK show I can find on Netflix and Hulu etc.  Just love the little differences between our cultures and languages.  Currently watching Scott and Bailey.
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janet

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I do all my eating without the dentures and today I discovered it is easy to eat Entenmanns raspberry Danish.  Last week a donut.  Things are looking up.
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Micki

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Janet, I wish I could do that too...but I just cant. First because my gums are still too sore and secondly because (I'm ashamed to admit it) but I'm too vain to be seen eating without them or be seen period without them) I believe you said you work from home but I dont....and I work and have to talk and interact with people all throughout the day. I wish I had a more light hearted approach to it but I just can't seem to. Now what I'm fixing to say...you'll probably think I'm terrible but it's only been 2 days....I still haven't looked in the mirror with them out.
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Brod

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you may find looking in the mirror with them out isnt that bad tbh, unless i lifted my lip or tried to smile, i couldnt see my old teeth anyways. 
the immmeidate dentures i got just now, i can just see the tips of them again, unless i smile / raise my lip.
i think we " think " it looks worse than it really is!. iv been to the supermarket several times now without my upper immediate denture in and it was fine.
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Micki

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Omg....lol, I'm certain I couldn't do that. Tonight will be the first night I sleep without them. I thought. ..what if the house catches on fire? I know that would be the least of my worries but I'm pretty sure there are more people than just me that doesn't want anyone (their husband, wife, neighbor, friend) to see them without them...including anyone at the grocery store. I may be wrong. I'm sure I'm being too vain but that's just me. I'm not a really pretty lady but I do care about my appearance. I'd like to say. I'm kinda attractive and I hope my new teeth will make me look better. But no....going put in public ain't happening...lol
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Beth K

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Lol Micki! I actually just had that thought the other night because my bathroom is at the opposite end of the house than my bedroom. I'm with Brod, it's not that bad unless you are looking AT them. I wait until I am set to go to bed before they come out. Although today i had my bottom out for most of the day because it hurt. But i don't want my youngest to see me without, and there is NO way I'm going out anywhere but my house without them!
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janet

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i don't go in public either although I did have to sign a Fed Ex yesterday and did it toothless because I couldn't get it together fast enough to stick the tops in.  The first week I took the bottoms out to sleep and didn't let my husband see me with them out.  But within another week, I said screw it and just went toothless all day around my husband and son.  My comfort is more important to me than what they might think.  And my son needs to get all his teeth pulled too for different reasons.  He is jealous of me that I am actually doing it.
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Schelly

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I just wanted to share this with everyone, since this thread highlights how easily we can slip into a depression because of the limited food choices we have with sore and swollen gums.

I got a LOT of my recipes from this list, which has helped me stay as close to sane as possible through this whole journey:

99+ Soft Food Diet Recipes

Enjoy your holiday - eat something wonderful!
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janet

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Thanks Schelly. Just the pictures are mouth watering!
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Cindy Fox

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Thanks for the link to these wonderful recipes.  I made the Baked Cream Cheese Spaghetti tonight and it was wonderful. It's going to help to have these recipes.
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Schelly

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I'm so glad you found something other than the same-ol' same-ol' to eat!

Merry Christmas!
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Cindy Fox

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Yes! Merry Christmas
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Cindy Fox

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I forgot about right after I recovered from major infection and my lower bones started healing my daughter gave me this mini like food grinder that I plugged in. She used to even bring me roast beef and gravy and do it in there so I'm going to find where it's at and put to more use when I need to. 
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Cindy Fox

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I just found out about this community and darn, wish I had sooner. 
Last year a dentist created lower dentures for me locally & pulled my lower teeth.  I wasn't to take the  dentures out and soon had a lot of mucous, saliva and couldn't breathe. I had to take them out.  I ended up in the hospital onoxygen, with severe infection and pain at about level 12.  I was released to Univ of Iowa  hospital, was admitted and  had surgery to cut down the bone because infection was so bad. In a few weeks I was well enough and pain free enough to be release although still had to have someone give me meds throughout the day and help since pretty out of it. 
I've had countless visits back to the Univ of  Ia hospital, and had upper teeth removed. I didn't have teeth for some time and didn't go anywhere for awhile because I was so self conscious. I finally said heck with it and started going to get groceries. 
Eating was huge and I hated I couldn't hardly eat anything for what seemed like forever. Eventually learned to eat almost anything without teeth except thin crust pizza. Something about it was like chewing cardboard to my gums
The last 6 months I've had numerous appts and a dr special made my dentures  at Univ of Iowa hospital and today is 3rd day with them.  We are hoping the bottom dentures will work and won't need them to fit on implants due my bone loss.
I haven't wore them all the time and haven't tried to eat with them either. 
I've just been getting used to them in my mouth, notice can't lick my lips and have to practice smiling with them. The dentures feel too big for my mouth but probably just not used to anything in my mouth for so long.
Talking is awefully hard and makes me scared to do so. And yikes a Christmas gathering tonight.
Just glad to know I have a place to come and vent.
Thanks 
Cindy
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Beth K

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Cindy - WOW!  That's a lot that you've had to go through.  I will say the talking will get better!  You're right, it's because you're not used to having it in your mouth.  I've noticed that as the day goes on, and I get tired, I have to work at my speech a little bit more, but I'm hoping that that is still just a learning thing as well.  I wish that I could give more advice, but I don't think I'm far enough in my journey to really have much to offer.  Other than to say...vent away!!  This place is amazing with support! 

I've been dreading tonight's Christmas gathering at my in-laws just because we're not close enough that they know what I've been through.  Therefore I don't want to have to explain that I can't eat all the yummy food, not that I don't want to.  Not to mention, trying to make oatmeal while everyone else is chowing down.  But we had some friends over last night, & I made it through several hours of laughing, smiling & shouting (we had a cut throat game of cards going!) with only one time of wanting to go rip my dentures out.  That I'm hoping to make it through tonight with no issues either.  

Keep us updated on your journey and like I said...vent anytime!  Merry Christmas!
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Micki

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Hi Cindy, I'm on day 3 also so I'm kinda the same as you except I haven't had all that other going on prior. Poor you, dang you've been through hell. I hope it'll all be uphill for you. I'm glad you found this forum too. It's been a tremendous source of encouragement for me. I'm sure it will be for you as well. And tons of good advice and ideas! Welcome and Merry Christmas!
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Cindy Fox

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Thanks Micki and Beth K. I'm so glad to be here and know I'm not alone. I have a Christmas gathering at family and not looking forward to no eating the good food. I could try but afraid it might be a diaster with not being used to the teeth. I hang onto it's going to get better 
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Schelly

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Here's hoping there is plenty of mashed potatoes, stuffing, jello, pudding, cream pies and ice cream at all your gatherings tonight!
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janet

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Cindy - sounds like you lived through everyone’s worst nightmare. What an ordeal. Here’s wishing you an easy rest of your journey. Painless and uneventful.
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Beth K

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Merry Christmas everyone! I have to say I had a great Christmas Eve. Had jello, and even some cheesy potatoes. Now mostly, I just swallow small bites, but it "tasted" so good while I rolled it around my mouth. Today I was able to do the same with pancakes and scrambled eggs. I found that I feel like I have more control of the food with my lowers out. Still can't chew the food, but I know my gums are still a little too raw. However, it gives me more hope. Tonight, I cut up a hamburger & did the same! So yummy!
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Cindy Fox

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HI Beth,
So glad you were able to  eat some today and find what works for you right now.
In time things will improve and you'll find what works I'm sure.
I enjoyed eating some over Christmas and last night. It was difficult with dentures in and bottoms don't stay in well. Hanging in there and sounds like you are too 
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Micki

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Hi everyone, I have to say I also enjoyed most of my Christmas dinner as well. There wasn't much I couldn't eat....not because I'm so tough but because it was all so easy for me. ...like my son cooked his first ever brisket. It was great. Also, I wanted to bring this point up. I made a Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake. Yep, it turned out perfect but it's been a very long time since I could eat sugar. OMGosh......lol, it was so so good! I wish I could give you all a big piece of it with a big spoonful of whipped cream! I'm wishing you all a Happy New Year!