Depression setting in...

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I'm on day 12 of having 25 extractions, 2 bone graphs and getting immediate dentures. This past weekend I started feeling depressed about it all. It hit me at the first family Christmas gathering...with all the food. That I can't eat. It really sucked sitting there, eating jello and applesauce while everyone else was chowing down. I'm dreading this next weekend as well since we have more family to get together with. To top it off, I have now quit smoking ( I know this is a blessing. And I really did hope that doing this would help me with that. And it did!) So, I can't smoke (I did try, but tastes awful), can't eat...I have no "comforts" to comfort myself with. I still am having trouble talking, I don't think they fit right ( I do understand it's a process) but I can't even rub my lips together after putting chap stick on. And my bite feels way off even though the dentist tells me it's not. I just want to curl up in my chair and cry. My husband is getting irritated with me (I know it's because he's frustrated that he can't fix it for me) my 8 year old is "sad for me because I can't eat" ( my little sweetie) and my 16 year old is just trying to stay out of my way. Smart teen, Lol.

I'm missing three things, pizza, chocolate and cereal. I'm living off of oatmeal, spaghetti o's and pudding. I know this isn't healthy but I'm out of ideas. I try to chew, but I feel like I loose the food in my mouth plus it's really uncomfortable on my gums. Mentally, I'm sure it's a little too soon to be expecting much. But I just can't take not eating!

I start feeling bad at work too because I'm having trouble talking, and my job requires quite a bit of talking to our customers both in person & on the phone.

I'm trying to stay strong and not show how upset I am every second of the day for my boys, but it's getting really hard. I'm really regretting having this done. Wishing that I had waited until after the holidays. Any suggestions?
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Beth K

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  • sad, anxious, depressed

Posted 3 years ago

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Deb Dennis

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I'm really sad to hear your story and I really hope it gets better please keep us posted on here I'm having some problems myself right now with surgery from last Wednesday food isn't the biggest deal even though it is the holidays. I was craving Fried Chicken so I got my husband to buy some then I use my kitchen scissors and I pulled the meat out of the breast and cut it really really fine with the scissors and then I use the same scissor to chop up some of the crispy part the best crispy part of course into almost crumble very very small and I was able to roll that around in my mouth and and taste it 3 days after surgery I don't have any denture at end whatsoever the problem is I have holes going from my the roof of my mouth straight into my sinuses so I'm very afraid of getting food lodged into my sinus that won't be able to come out and it will cause extreme infection so that's where I'm at.
Hang in there with the food if you cook pasta longer than normal you can have something better than Sketti O's, I'm using it as an excuse to have lots of Milkshakes and I also got my husband to buy me some ensure shakes for the nutrition and a Core protein shake to add extra protein to it and if I put it in the freezer and shake it up it's like really good I could drink it just for the fun of it and because I like the shakes. Hopefully you'll be able to find something that you like that you can indulge in and help you maintain your health and your spirits while you're healing.
One of my favorite parts of the holiday feast has always been the gravy and whether it's gravy and potatoes or gravy and biscuits that can be made of soft enough to go down really well and my method of cutting meet up with scissors while a little more time consuming than a plant blender or Chopper maintains the flavor in the field and to be honest it's chewed up better by the scissors than it was by my teeth.
Really really try to think about the things that you can do Vice those that you cannot . It's the only way to get through it and maybe we can lift each other up and point some of those things out when it gets tough.
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Beth K

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Deb, thank you for your kind words and thoughts! Just knowing I wad able to vent to someone helped. I think yesterday was my lowest spot as after work I had to go get groceries. My husband sent me a text asking if we could cut pizza up small enough for me to eat it. I told him no, but if that was what they wanted, if pick it up. So, here I was driving with this delicious smelling pizza in the car, knowing I couldn't have any, with my tummy rumbling, feeling sorry for myself because i knew my dinner was going to be oatmeal when I got home. Get home, I'm cranky, three guys (husband & kids) who start digging into pizza & I sit down on my kitchen floor & just start crying.. It felt good to let it out, felt good to let those three, wonderful, supportive guys see me loose it. It felt good to have my boys hug me and try to comfort me.

Then...can't find the bag with the oatmeal that I just bought. Ugh! Seriously?!! So, after my break down...I had ice cream for dinner!
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Schelly

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Ice cream is health food - so glad you're coming around to the cold side.  LOL!

Find the humor, the silver lining AND the ice cream, and you've hit upon the dental trifecta.

Glad you're feeling better,
Schelly
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Sarah

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Aww, the pizza scenario happened to me too and my stomach quickly let me know that it was craving something substantial. I weeped at many dinners the first two weeks, but in the end I renewed my passion for mashed potatoes and beef gravy (good lord I love it) and ice cream finally became my treat alone. My daughters knew not to touch it, because I haven’t been able to eat ice cream without excruciating pain for years. That was my silver lining and the “a-ha” moment I needed to keep pushing through even when I fell to the darkest places. It does get better day by day and eventually you will discover the simple joys you had been missing with the bad teeth and that will make it worthwhile. Also, having this group is a lifesaver. Keep updating us on your journey and know that we are all fighting the same battles.
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Beth K

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Thank you Sarah! Everyone keeps telling me gravy...problem is, I don't like gravy.
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Sarah

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Oh no! Well, if you buy the instant potatoes (they come in lovely flavors like “loaded”) that works too. It provides variety so you aren’t just eating standard potatoes, which are good on their own but not everyday. :) Those were my main meal for about two weeks, but I didn’t gain weight which is a plus. I think the yogurt and applesauce combatted the weight I could have put on with all the potato carbs! Lol
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Schelly

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I just put my favorite meals into a food processor and ate it all mushed up.  I enjoy yellow curry chicken like crazy, so it went in the food processor.  It looked horrible, but it tasted exactly the same.  I enjoyed having regular food that way.

Merry Christmas!
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Beth K

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I took next week off, so I'm thinking the food processor is coming out and I'll give it a try! Lol. I just want to taste more food! Lol
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Brod

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hi beth, 

im today day 8 after full upper extractions and yesterday had my immediate denture lined ( thats made a huge comfort difference - it was sore just to wear before ). 
i still cant eat anything other than soft foods though as the gum under the denture is still tender although its healing very well according to the dentist. 

i live alone and have no family so i spend christmas on my own, which i guess makes it easier as i just buy the foods im able to eat and because i dont go out - i dont know anyone and have no friends, so places like this website are my only connection to the outside world to share info like this.

the foods im having are:-

 porridge, hard boiled eggs mushed up with a knob of butter and a little salt - tasty and healthy, pineapple mushedd up with fork and put into different flabour yoghurt. flavoured milk and soft mushed up banana.
tinned soups ( you could make your own too ) fish which i mush up with a fork and potato or turnip mash. minced beef and chicken with soft vegetables.
macaroni cheese is easy to make - i just boil the macaroni and once its cooked soft, i drain it and sprinkle grated cheese into it, keep stirring it and let it cool a little and thats quick and easy to make.
ice cream - every flavour lol 
with my coffee im dunking my biscuits in it to soften them and they are lovely.

im over-cooking vegetables so they are soft to eat and any veg can be over-cooked to make it soft which is ideal.

i realise that its much harder when you have to goto social gatherings with other people and the food is limited to whats on the table - how about eating " your foods " before you attend, then you wont be hungry and can feel happy to pass on the foods and just have drinks?

i think that as time passes and you heal - say in about 2-3 months, like others on here, you ll be eating more as less as you did before once your gums are better healed up and you ll be so glad then that you went through this. 
its just unfortunate that christmas is in the way i guess, but think of it like this - that means you ll be healed by summer with all the nice summer foods that come along that you ll be able to eat!

wishing you and your family a very happy christmas, Brod
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Beth K

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Thank you for your support Brod!  You have given me a few more ideas with food.  I had decided while at my sons baseball team Christmas party last night that I need to expand my foods.  Mostly for my own sanity!  Though, I'm still not even able to 'chew' my spaghetti o's, I do try every time I eat them.  When I bit down, my gums are too sensitive under my dentures & I'm afraid I developed a soar spot or there is a piece of bone trying to work it's way out.  Today is very painful to where I'm actually keeping my lower ones out for some rest.  For some odd reason I was craving some fish sticks the other day (So weird because my kids could take em or leave em), So I'm thinking if I make them & just take off the crispy layer, I should be ok with getting them down!  Yea!!  I did eat before we went last night.  My problem is going to be Christmas Eve at my in-laws.  We have to travel almost two hours there and then will be there for most of the evening, then two hours home.  Though oatmeal "sticks to the ribs" that's pushing it.  Unfortunately, spaghetti o's are the closest to soup as I will get.  Just not a fan.  I'll make due though,

I was able to get into the dentist yesterday for an adjustment, but today those spots feel 100 times worse.  I go this Thursday for a soft realign, and I'm hoping that will help

I AM glad that I finally got this done.  I do wish a little bit that I had waited until after the Holidays, and I told the dentist office that they should caution patients about this.  The holidays can be depressing enough without adding the extra stress to it.  However, I keep looking for the good things...quit smoking, quit biting my nails, smiling a lot more already.  :)  

I hope you have a Merry Christmas as well!  Keep us updated on your healing process as well!
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Schelly

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Merry Christmas, Beth!

Some of my favorite things to make "early on" were mashed potatoes with unflavored protein powder.  I would mix up the protein powder and use that in the place of milk when making the instant mashed.  In addition to the protein powder, cook up some cauliflower very soft, puree that and put it in the mashed potatoes.  Many don't realize how rich in protein that cauliflower is, but it's super good nutrition.

For those in-between times when you absolutely HAVE to eat before you go be around a lot of people, try some Gerber baby food.  It tastes absolutely abysmal, but it's nutrition and it will tide you over until you get somewhere that allows you to make a meal for yourself.

Put scrambled eggs in just about everything you eat - rich in calcium and really does keep you full.  I ate egg sandwiches every day (with or without my teeth) because they are fast to make and very tasty (for the first few days.)

And never forget - chocolate melts in your mouth.  You're not getting too many calories to enjoy some Vitamin Ch. 

:-D
Schelly

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Micki

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Hi Beth, do you like smoothies? I was a big smoothie drinker long before I had all my lowers extracted and immediate dentures 2 days ago. I'm not a big eater and making myself eat has always been a problem for me. So losing weight was not something I really wanted to do. And now I can't eat ANYTHING. ...LOL. But I can still drink my smoothies! And I think they're saving me. If you look on Pinterest....or basically just google search smoothies now everyone is coming up with some amazing ones! They are really delicious. They even have holiday themed smoothies like pumpkin pie and apple pie....the list goes on and on! I basically do the same one every morning and occasionally try something I've found online. Also, (not sure if you're into this kinda thing) but whatever you feel your body might be lacking you can add it in and never taste it. For example, I use Chia seed and coconut oil in all my smoothies. Chia is just good for everything and I use the coconut oil because I'm prone to getting dehydrated. My basic recipe is
1 frozen banana
About 3/4 c blueberries
3 heaping Tbs. Vanilla yogurt
About 3/4 c milk of your choice
About 1/4 c oatmeal
2 big handfuls baby spinach (I even freeze it)
About 1 1/2 Tbs. Coconut oil
1 Tbs. Chia seed
2 tsp. Stevia
Vanilla extract is good too but gets expensive so I usually don't use it.
I also sub out pineapple, mango and ginger for the blueberries in the recipe above and it's wonderful. I hope this helps and hang in there. I think you made a very smart investment and I'm sure it'll take you no time to be eating what you want. Good luck and Merry Christmas! And oh yeah, one more thing...it apologize for all of the "about this much" of everything in my recipe. I never measure but I keep a scoop in nearly everything like the oatmeal, stevia, chia...lol...just adjust your recipe to the thickness you like by adding more or less.
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Beth K

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Micki - I have not tried smoothies, but you're recipe made me hungry!  LOL  My husband and I are getting ready to take the kids to see the Christmas lights, so I think a stop at the store is also on the agenda.  I will say, I haven't had too much of an appetite over the past two weeks, which isn't that bad of a problem.  However, I do want to make sure I'm being healthy hear on out.

Schelly - I love cooked cauliflower!  I didn't even think of adding that to potatoes!  Thank you!!  Tonights dinner is going to be eggs I think.  I've had my lower denture out most of the day because they hurt pretty bad.  I felt like I had better control when I put my spaghetti o's in my mouth.  So I think I might try some eggs without them in.  I figure its soft enough.  I'm just nervous that somethings going to get stuck in my gum since they are still healing.  I'm sure it's just a mental block thing, but it's strong! Haha!  

I have to say that I'm very excited because I just found out that we're going to have a visitor tonight.  Our old neighbor's son joined the air force this past fall & is home to visit!  He & his brother are best friends with my oldest son & are basically two more kids to me.  So proud of him & can't wait to spend some time with him.  So I'll be smiling lots tonight as we are all excited to catch up!

Thank you all - still can't believe I stumbled on this site.  It's so wonderful!
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Micki

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Oh I'm so happy to hear all this! All of it! I really hope smoothies change your life like they have mine and you just sound so much happier than your first post! Enjoy your Christmas! Hugs ...and oh yeah. ..cauliflower is a great thickening agent to smoothies!
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Schelly

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Beth, I'm glad you stumbled here too - just as I did.  I ate scrambled eggs with open extraction sites because I have a water pic dental flosser that I can put on the lowest setting and gently pulse out anything that gets left behind.  I love my water flosser - it soothed my gums so much as I healed.

I brush my gums now.  I don't know if that's weird or not, but it sure feels good - especially over the spot with the bone spur spot.  I use a baby toothbrush (gentle) and just rub back and forth with warm water until it squeaks, telling me it is clean.  No toothpaste - just water.  Feels great!  But you probably want to wait till your extraction sites are stable to do that.

Micki - yes!  Cauliflower is fabulous smoothie material. And if you've never tried juicing, I highly recommend it!  I don't juice as much as I want but I love it every time I do.  LOL!

I'm so thankful for all of you!
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Micki

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Schelly, I am for all of you too! I truly appreciate all the comments I've read. If it wasn't for yall I'd truly be nuts!
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Beth K

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So, stopped at the store and immediately decided it was not the time to look for new ingredients. I'll admit that I was so excited to try something new that i didn't think about it being days to Christmas. But wondering if you could give me an idea of where in a store i might find chia seeds and stevia? I know I've heard of them, just not exactly what or where lol.
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Micki

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You can get Stevia at Walmart . And probably Chia seeds too. I buy both of those at HEB because they're cheaper
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Micki

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Stevie is a natural sweetener made from monk fruit. And Chia seeds are just really good for you in many ways. Don't stress over that tho. If smoothies appeal to you then just add what you like to them. That's what I did.. You are such a sweet person and I know you'll do well. All the ingredients I mentioned are available at Walmart and HEB
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Beth K

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Aww, thank you Micki!  I'm really trying to turn this experience into something better all the way around.  
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Micki

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And Beth...I just realized you said "where in the store" duh. Lol. The Stevia is with the sugar/splenda...and the Chia seeds are on the same isle directory across from the Stevia in my Walmart anyway. . AT HEB they're with the health foods!. Coconut oil is with the oils..i.e. vegetable, canola., olive...Merry Christmas!
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janet

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Hey Brod - hard boiled eggs with butter?  I'm stuck on that after reading it.  I have never heard of eating butter with hard boiled eggs.  I know butter improves everything though.  :)  Are you in the US or is that they way they are eaten commonly in another country?  
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Brod

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hey janet - haha, the eggs are hard boiled, then peeled into a bowl and mushed up with a fork, then whilst they still hot/ warm, add in a slice ( or however much you like ) real butter ( not margarine/spreads etc ) and fork/mix in the butter- the eggs will absorb it, add salt to taste if you like, and its so easy to eat. im not not sure how commonly eaten they are here in uk, but my mum made them for me often as a kid ( hope thats not what gave me bad teeth! lol )  but for eating without my upper denture, they are so sofft on the gum and tasty too, easy to make - and you can have this as a meal / snack dependng how many eggs you use. for breakfast i use 6 eggs but for a snack 2-3 egss is sufficient for me. 
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janet

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There is no way they could contribute to tooth decay since eggs and butter have zero carbohydrates.  Those little mouth buggies can't metabolize fat and protein.  I may just have to try that because it is so intriguing.  I have been eating a lot of eggs by hard boiling them and then making pureed egg salad in my food processor.  I throw in a bunch of green olives for a little tang and eat it on ritz crackers, which melt down beautifully in your mouth.  On a side note.  I am obsessed with watching every UK show I can find on Netflix and Hulu etc.  Just love the little differences between our cultures and languages.  Currently watching Scott and Bailey.
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janet

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I do all my eating without the dentures and today I discovered it is easy to eat Entenmanns raspberry Danish.  Last week a donut.  Things are looking up.
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Micki

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Janet, I wish I could do that too...but I just cant. First because my gums are still too sore and secondly because (I'm ashamed to admit it) but I'm too vain to be seen eating without them or be seen period without them) I believe you said you work from home but I dont....and I work and have to talk and interact with people all throughout the day. I wish I had a more light hearted approach to it but I just can't seem to. Now what I'm fixing to say...you'll probably think I'm terrible but it's only been 2 days....I still haven't looked in the mirror with them out.
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Brod

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you may find looking in the mirror with them out isnt that bad tbh, unless i lifted my lip or tried to smile, i couldnt see my old teeth anyways. 
the immmeidate dentures i got just now, i can just see the tips of them again, unless i smile / raise my lip.
i think we " think " it looks worse than it really is!. iv been to the supermarket several times now without my upper immediate denture in and it was fine.
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Micki

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Omg....lol, I'm certain I couldn't do that. Tonight will be the first night I sleep without them. I thought. ..what if the house catches on fire? I know that would be the least of my worries but I'm pretty sure there are more people than just me that doesn't want anyone (their husband, wife, neighbor, friend) to see them without them...including anyone at the grocery store. I may be wrong. I'm sure I'm being too vain but that's just me. I'm not a really pretty lady but I do care about my appearance. I'd like to say. I'm kinda attractive and I hope my new teeth will make me look better. But no....going put in public ain't happening...lol
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Beth K

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Lol Micki! I actually just had that thought the other night because my bathroom is at the opposite end of the house than my bedroom. I'm with Brod, it's not that bad unless you are looking AT them. I wait until I am set to go to bed before they come out. Although today i had my bottom out for most of the day because it hurt. But i don't want my youngest to see me without, and there is NO way I'm going out anywhere but my house without them!
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janet

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i don't go in public either although I did have to sign a Fed Ex yesterday and did it toothless because I couldn't get it together fast enough to stick the tops in.  The first week I took the bottoms out to sleep and didn't let my husband see me with them out.  But within another week, I said screw it and just went toothless all day around my husband and son.  My comfort is more important to me than what they might think.  And my son needs to get all his teeth pulled too for different reasons.  He is jealous of me that I am actually doing it.
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Schelly

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I just wanted to share this with everyone, since this thread highlights how easily we can slip into a depression because of the limited food choices we have with sore and swollen gums.

I got a LOT of my recipes from this list, which has helped me stay as close to sane as possible through this whole journey:

99+ Soft Food Diet Recipes

Enjoy your holiday - eat something wonderful!
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janet

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Thanks Schelly. Just the pictures are mouth watering!
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Cindy Fox

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Thanks for the link to these wonderful recipes.  I made the Baked Cream Cheese Spaghetti tonight and it was wonderful. It's going to help to have these recipes.
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Schelly

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I'm so glad you found something other than the same-ol' same-ol' to eat!

Merry Christmas!
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Cindy Fox

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Yes! Merry Christmas
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Cindy Fox

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I forgot about right after I recovered from major infection and my lower bones started healing my daughter gave me this mini like food grinder that I plugged in. She used to even bring me roast beef and gravy and do it in there so I'm going to find where it's at and put to more use when I need to. 
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Cindy Fox

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I just found out about this community and darn, wish I had sooner. 
Last year a dentist created lower dentures for me locally & pulled my lower teeth.  I wasn't to take the  dentures out and soon had a lot of mucous, saliva and couldn't breathe. I had to take them out.  I ended up in the hospital onoxygen, with severe infection and pain at about level 12.  I was released to Univ of Iowa  hospital, was admitted and  had surgery to cut down the bone because infection was so bad. In a few weeks I was well enough and pain free enough to be release although still had to have someone give me meds throughout the day and help since pretty out of it. 
I've had countless visits back to the Univ of  Ia hospital, and had upper teeth removed. I didn't have teeth for some time and didn't go anywhere for awhile because I was so self conscious. I finally said heck with it and started going to get groceries. 
Eating was huge and I hated I couldn't hardly eat anything for what seemed like forever. Eventually learned to eat almost anything without teeth except thin crust pizza. Something about it was like chewing cardboard to my gums
The last 6 months I've had numerous appts and a dr special made my dentures  at Univ of Iowa hospital and today is 3rd day with them.  We are hoping the bottom dentures will work and won't need them to fit on implants due my bone loss.
I haven't wore them all the time and haven't tried to eat with them either. 
I've just been getting used to them in my mouth, notice can't lick my lips and have to practice smiling with them. The dentures feel too big for my mouth but probably just not used to anything in my mouth for so long.
Talking is awefully hard and makes me scared to do so. And yikes a Christmas gathering tonight.
Just glad to know I have a place to come and vent.
Thanks 
Cindy
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Beth K

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Cindy - WOW!  That's a lot that you've had to go through.  I will say the talking will get better!  You're right, it's because you're not used to having it in your mouth.  I've noticed that as the day goes on, and I get tired, I have to work at my speech a little bit more, but I'm hoping that that is still just a learning thing as well.  I wish that I could give more advice, but I don't think I'm far enough in my journey to really have much to offer.  Other than to say...vent away!!  This place is amazing with support! 

I've been dreading tonight's Christmas gathering at my in-laws just because we're not close enough that they know what I've been through.  Therefore I don't want to have to explain that I can't eat all the yummy food, not that I don't want to.  Not to mention, trying to make oatmeal while everyone else is chowing down.  But we had some friends over last night, & I made it through several hours of laughing, smiling & shouting (we had a cut throat game of cards going!) with only one time of wanting to go rip my dentures out.  That I'm hoping to make it through tonight with no issues either.  

Keep us updated on your journey and like I said...vent anytime!  Merry Christmas!
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Micki

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Hi Cindy, I'm on day 3 also so I'm kinda the same as you except I haven't had all that other going on prior. Poor you, dang you've been through hell. I hope it'll all be uphill for you. I'm glad you found this forum too. It's been a tremendous source of encouragement for me. I'm sure it will be for you as well. And tons of good advice and ideas! Welcome and Merry Christmas!
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Cindy Fox

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Thanks Micki and Beth K. I'm so glad to be here and know I'm not alone. I have a Christmas gathering at family and not looking forward to no eating the good food. I could try but afraid it might be a diaster with not being used to the teeth. I hang onto it's going to get better 
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Schelly

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Here's hoping there is plenty of mashed potatoes, stuffing, jello, pudding, cream pies and ice cream at all your gatherings tonight!
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janet

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Cindy - sounds like you lived through everyone’s worst nightmare. What an ordeal. Here’s wishing you an easy rest of your journey. Painless and uneventful.
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Beth K

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Merry Christmas everyone! I have to say I had a great Christmas Eve. Had jello, and even some cheesy potatoes. Now mostly, I just swallow small bites, but it "tasted" so good while I rolled it around my mouth. Today I was able to do the same with pancakes and scrambled eggs. I found that I feel like I have more control of the food with my lowers out. Still can't chew the food, but I know my gums are still a little too raw. However, it gives me more hope. Tonight, I cut up a hamburger & did the same! So yummy!
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Cindy Fox

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HI Beth,
So glad you were able to  eat some today and find what works for you right now.
In time things will improve and you'll find what works I'm sure.
I enjoyed eating some over Christmas and last night. It was difficult with dentures in and bottoms don't stay in well. Hanging in there and sounds like you are too 
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Micki

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Hi everyone, I have to say I also enjoyed most of my Christmas dinner as well. There wasn't much I couldn't eat....not because I'm so tough but because it was all so easy for me. ...like my son cooked his first ever brisket. It was great. Also, I wanted to bring this point up. I made a Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake. Yep, it turned out perfect but it's been a very long time since I could eat sugar. OMGosh......lol, it was so so good! I wish I could give you all a big piece of it with a big spoonful of whipped cream! I'm wishing you all a Happy New Year!